THE WENCHOSTER CAROL SHEET

Edition 27

Page 2

5 See amid the rural snow,
Hands are frozen, cheeks aglow,
Tramping in from off the land,
Comes the merry carol band.

Every year you sing the same,
Every year there’s one who’s lame,
As you move from place to place,
Murdering the Christmas grace.

Lo, within the Nine Bells bar,
Each can find a foaming jar,
Filled with ale all gleaming bright,
Bringing cheer to this cold night.

Every year you sing the same,…

Say, ye wandering minstrels, say,
Will ye sing in tune today?
Or will one voice sound quite flat,
Like a cornered screeching cat?

Every year you sing the same,…

As we listen in the night,
Lo, we get a nasty fright;
Voices screech down every lane,
Sounding like a dog in pain.

Every year you sing the same,…

In our homes, beside the fire,
Still we hear this awful choir;
Lights go out, we sit secure,
As the knock comes on our door.

Every year you sing the same,…

“’ark the ‘erald angels sing”
Has a quite distinctive ring.
Every Christmas we all pray
For the peace of Boxing Day.

Every year you sing the same,…

Tune: Humility. John Goss.

   7

A great almighty blunder
Seen by a candle’s flame.
The choir torn asunder,
The crucifer’s to blame.

Let’s start the mass again.
And get it right for certain,
Then we can all say ‘Amen.’

When he approached the rood screen,
Rather then walking straight.
He took a sudden right turn,
Which made the choir irate.

Let’s start the mass again.

The tenors sat in protest
The basses roared with ire.
The trebles simply whimpered,
One set his cotta on fire.

Let’s start the mass again.

Tune: German carol melody

 

 

 

6

 

Silent night, holy night,
In the bar all is bright,
Tinsel dangles from every pump,
Blow-up Santa makes regulars jump!
And we party 'til dawn.
And we party 'til dawn.

Silent night, holy night,
Locals beam at the sight,
Hot mulled wine is in every glass,
Have too many, you fall on your arse,
And we party 'til dawn.
And we party 'til dawn.

Silent night, holy night,
With the hour, comes the light,
Have a "snowball", it's really quite nice,
Eggs and lemon, but hold on the ice,
And we party 'til dawn.
And we party 'til dawn.

 

Tune:  Stille Nacht.  Franz Gruber (1787-1863) 
   

8

 

Astray with a stranger, poor Father’s adrift,
He took a girl’s word when she offered a lift.
The service was over, the car broken down,
And he needed to get to the centre of town.

“Dear Father,” she proffered, and gave a look rare,
“I can help you to get there, if you have a care.
“Just sit in my Mini and we’ll drive away.
What? Stop on the wayside?  Whatever you say.”

“O Father!” She halted, beside the great tree,
“I had no means of knowing that you had to pee.
“Let’s go, if it means that I get off my ass,
“As a good catholic girl I’ll get you to your mass.”

 

Tune:  Cradle Song.  WJ KIrkpatrick (1938-1921) 
         
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